Only in New York

I thought I might have inadvertently wandered on to the set of Law & Order. The fact that a film crew was busy positioning their cameras only deepened my suspicions. And this began my adventure to One Police Plaza, the official headquarters of the NYPD.

You see, last Friday I managed to leave my beautiful, brand new Samsung A900 cell phone in the back of a taxi cab. After spending almost a week trying to track it down without any success, I finally caught a break. The local 17th Precinct had a description of a phone like mine that had been turned in over the weekend. I dashed over to the station (which turned out to be a trailer), expecting to be happily reunited with my phone. Instead, a gruff police officer gave me a voucher number and told me I would have to go "identify" it at One Police Plaza, across from City Hall.

Two subway rides later and I was downtown, walking across a movie set, and waiting in a long line to be searched, photographed, and basically fingerprinted before I could enter police headquarters. Once inside, I walked through another metal detector and handed over my driver license to be run through their system. Perhaps looking for outstanding warrants or unpaid parking tickets.

I was then directed to a most unpleasant basement room which is clearly the morgue for the poor cell phones, blackberrys, and wallets that have met their untimely fate in the back seat of a New York City taxi cab. Joining me in line were a few charming souls who had just been released from prison and were there to pick up the personal property confiscated from their bodies when they were arrested.

According to the Property Clerk's web site: "Approximately two-thirds of all property taken in is evidence required for criminal cases. Other categories of property accepted include the safekeeping of found property, decedent's property, prisoner's property, property no longer needed as evidence or for further investigation, contraband, seized peddler property pending release, serological evidence, and property confiscated for forfeiture proceedings.

Property received by this Division includes cash, jewelry, rifles and guns, various weapons, general property of every description, evidence related to homicides and other crimes (except serological evidence retained by the NYPD Forensic Investigation Division), and vehicles."

I was finally called to the barred window and presented my voucher number to the property clerk. After several minutes of anticipation, she returned with a carefully sealed plastic evidence bag containing a Samsung A900 phone. My heart soared as I waited to make the identification. "What does it play when you turn it on?" the clerk asked. I described the happy, upbeat melody and my beach screensaver. She turned on the phone. Chimes. No happy melody. No beach scene. Not my phone.

I returned to work, called Sprint, paid the $50 for a brand new replacement phone (thank goodness for insurance!), and that's that. Even if the phone turns up, I don't think I can handle another trip to the cell phone morgue and identification process. So send me your phone numbers - I'll be spending the weekend updating my contact lists. And not letting the phone out of my sight!